


Worse Than Last Time

by Hatless_Hatter



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: "virgin" main character gets their consent ignored, (for both parties), A slew of threats, Asexual main character, BDSM, Blood, Bondage, Crying, DNI IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY RAPE/NON CON, Forced Cunnilingus, Forced anal fingering, Helplessness, Hurt No Comfort, I WROTE THIS GARBAGE FIRE AND IT'S UPSETTING, I wrote this and I don't enjoy this, IDK devil Lucio is a grab bag of horrible things, Inhuman Cock, Julian is forced into violating the person he loves, Knotting, Leashes, Like, Lucio is a demonic rapist in this story, Lucio stans will not enjoy this, M/M, Misgendering, Multi, Other, SHITS DARK YO, Sadness, Torture, a breeding kink I guess?, did I miss any triggers?, forced anal fisting, forced hand jobs, forced vaginal sex, people who only want to see Julian happy will not enjoy this, uhhhh is it kinbaku or shibari, unwilling threesome's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:48:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatless_Hatter/pseuds/Hatless_Hatter
Summary: This is a dark fic. Know that now. I put in the tags everything I could think of. If you read this one, you're taking your own mental health into your hands. Plz for the love of every God I don't believe in, DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL UPSET YOU.He woke up with a splitting headache and the distinct understanding that something had gone very, very wrong. He remembers Lucio walking down the stairs, glowing red eyes, onyx horns, and a claw somehow more threatening than the golden one he'd loved so much.Lucio was back, and he had set his eyes on him and Levi as he descended the stairs, grinning with too many teeth. Dread pooled in his stomach as the man he'd meant to kill sauntered down to him and the person he loved. He knew that smile. That possessive, sick, controlling smile that promised he wouldn't listen to the word 'no'.He needed to get Levi out of here. He couldn't let Lucio get his hands on them.There is no comfort in this one. There is only pain. No word on a resolution sequel.
Relationships: Julian Devorak/Lucio (The Arcana), Julian Devorak/Original Non Binary Character
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

All three of them were in the bedroom. A sick red haze floated over everything Julian could see. Nothing looked right, and he couldn't remember exactly how he got here. Last thing he remembers he was taking Levi's hand and sprinting for the door to the veranda. Levi had trusted him enough to run with him despite how much they had wanted to help everyone else. But they hadn't made it to the door? He'd felt something wrap around his throat and tear Levi from him. He heard screams and then he was in a gaudy red room he remembers all too clearly. 

Lucio had snapped his fingers when they were all in the same room and the bonds had come out of thin air. Lucio had never had magic before. 

Ropes, leashes, hands bound behind Julian's back. Levi tied to the bed, ropes around their ankles looped around their throat so that when they tried to close their legs they strangled themselves. 

Trapped by their own need to breathe. Their knees bent up to their ribs and out in a grotesque display of invitation. Their hands tied to their opposite elbows behind their back, arching their chest out wantonly. Their body shaking uncontrollably, sending tremors along the ropes around them. 

Lucio laid by their side, trailing his claws over their skin as Julian struggles to breathe, the leash around his throat pulled tighter every time Levi pulled away from Lucio's touch. They glance at him with apologies everytime, their body hating the touch they were forced to endure. 

"Oh she's so sensitive, Jules." Lucio purrs, trailing a hand down between Levi's legs and making them jump, drawing a desperate, strangled sound from him as his feet nearly left the floor. Levi looked at him with desperate sorrow in their eyes as they forced their legs to part so Julian could breathe. 

"Don't tell me she's never taken your cock. Really? Not once? Well. That will have to change." 

Lucio's words strike a horrible chord in his chest as the lithe, demonic body slides off the bed and its silk sheets and over to him, tracing a finger down his still clothed chest. He can't look him in the eye, his gaze locked on Levi, their face tear stained and terrified. Lucio had gagged them, saying something about not wanting to hear obscenities shouted at him. Drool was pooling under their head. 

Lucio took Julian's face in his black clawed hand, forcing him to look him in the eye. The blonde smiled at him, red eyes flashing with enjoyment. He leaned in to him and pressed a passionate kiss to his lips, startling a gasp from him. He stared at Lucio, who smiled at him and kissed him deeper, his flesh hand winding around him and feeling down his back, digging his fingers into his clothed rear. 

"Gods I remember this ass. Such a tight little thing. Perfect for a pliant cocksleeve like you, Jules." 

Despite the terror and danger of the situation, Julian's body responded the way it had been trained to under Lucio's care. His heart quickened, his breath shortened, his mouth went dry, and his pants grew a little too tight. Despair and self hatred flooded his mind and tears slipped out of his eyes. Lucio had removed the eye patch saying something about not needing to hide from him. 

"Such a good little fucktoy you were, Jules. So needy you took whatever I gave you. Oh, don't cry. I'll make you feel good again, Jules. I promise." Lucio kissed Julian's tears away as he slipped his hand down the front of his pants and fondled him, crooning at him the entire time. His lips slid over his neck and jaw, teeth dragging over the tense muscle just past his ear and down his throat. Julian quivered and whined, his body excited for the attention it was receiving but his brain screaming that he wanted to strangle the blonde man for this. 

Julian couldn't help the sensation of pleasure Lucio was forcing on him. His hips moved of its own accord and his body yearned to be touched. He whined when Lucio removed his hand from his pants. The fear and the lack of free air was getting to him. This was too familiar to what Lucio had liked to do to him before he'd gotten sick, and his body had not forgotten. 

But one look at Levi made his erection go limp in his now unlaced pants. Their fearful, agonized face and their bound body reminding Julian just how wrong this situation was and how much worse it was going to get. Their eyes were glassy and distant and Julian hoped they were somewhere nice instead of trapped in this hell. 

Lucio was refocused on Levi, tracing their labia with a black claw, drawing strangled cries of terror from them, making Lucio laugh. He leaned over Levi, his knees inside their bent and splayed legs, his mouth trailing up their flat, sculpted chest. 

"Such a shame you cut off your tits. Oh well. You've still got your cunt so the part that counts is still here." He presses his lips to their gagged mouth and laughs when they pull back only to surge forward to let Julian breathe. So Levi wasn't gone. They were just trying to desensitize themselves. 

"So eager. Well it would be rude to keep you waiting." Lucio kissed his way down Levi's body, nipping and biting at some of the scars Levi had on their ribs and belly. A desperate muffled wail of denial made Julian's heart stutter in his chest as Lucio positioned his hips against theirs and leaned back to pull out his cock. Maybe it had just been a while, but Julian would've sworn Lucio's cock was bigger. Certainly it didn't look completely human anymore. 

Levi jerked away from him and Julian couldn't breathe, but Levi didn't relax this time. This time he was lifted off the ground by their desperation to get away from Lucio. 

"You'd better relax, or Julian will have hanged himself twice this week." Lucio chides, one hand on his cock held against Levi's entrance, and the other black claw pressing down on their leg, forcing them to open themselves and let Julian breathe. His feet hit the ground again and he heaves in lungfuls of air as he watches Lucio begin to push his cock inside Levi, their legs trembling and chest heaving with wild, uncontrolled breaths. 

They were panicked and probably in pain. Their eyes looked wildly around and searched for any chance at escape. 

"Lucio wait!" He cried, voice cracked and hollow as he considers what he's about to try. 

Lucio stops pressing his hips into Levi's and turns back to the doctor, a cruel, almost knowing smile on his face. His red eyes gleam with malice and interest. 

"Yes, Jules?" He asks, flesh hand trailing up and down Levi's leg, his other hand still pressing their other leg down so Julian could breathe. 

Julian hesitated, jaw clenching as he realized what he was going to offer. What he was going to force on the one person he loved more than his own self hatred. 

"Nothing? How rude. Sorry about that, girl, now let me get back to-" 

"Let me prepare them!" 

The bedroom was completely silent. Levi stared at him, unable to believe what he had just said. He couldn't look at them. He knew what he had to do to make this less painful and less potentially damaging for them. Levi had never been penetrated before, Julian knew, as they had told him they had never wanted to try. Even if they had, they were too tightly wound for Lucio's rough tastes, and he hadn't bothered to force them to enjoy themselves or use lubrication. Judging by how big his half hard cock was he could make them bleed to death if he raped them as they were now. Even if Levi weren't anemic, the amount of bleeding that he knew Lucio would inflict on them during the act would be dangerous enough. But with how he was now and how terrified and tight Levi would be? He had to try something. The very least Julian could do for the person he loved was try to lessen the pain at the very least. He couldn't take it away. He knew what was going to happen to the both of them. 

"Let… let me prepare them, Lucio. Please." He locked eyes with the golden haired bastard, watching as his lips curled into a cruel smile. 

"Oh, Jules." Lucio sighed, sliding backwards off the bed and taking the head of his cock off of Levi's labia. They trembled and shook their head, eyes locked on Julian, trying to tell him not to do this. That they would be fine and he didn't have to ruin their relationship by forcing himself on them. 

"Of course I'll let you prepare her. She is yours after all. You might as well have a taste of her unspoiled cunt before I have her." 

Rage flared in his chest as Lucio cut the rope that connected him to Levi. The rope still acted as a leash, but now Lucio held it, giving it a light pull as Julian unsteadily found his feet. His hands were still tied behind him, and Lucio made no move to cut the bond. Which meant he would have to use his mouth and tongue to… to rape Levi before Lucio did. 

Julian numbly stepped towards Levi, their legs pulling together to try to stop him from getting near them. They shook their head at him and made a noise that sounded like a plea for him to reconsider. 

He knelt between their legs and took a deep breath, closing his eyes before he began something he would never be able to take back. Something he knows is vile and unforgivable no matter how desperate the situation is. It doesn't matter that he knows from personal experience that Lucio would cause as much damage as he could just to make a point, and that forcing Levi's body to enjoy itself would make the act a little less unbearable, but he knows what he is about to do is a crime punishable by death for a reason. He knows that Levi will hate and fear him from now on. No justification would ever be enough. Even if they said otherwise, it would be a lie and Julian would never forgive himself. 

Lucio's claw buried itself in his hair and pushed his face into Levi's core, making him gasp and Levi let out a muffled shriek of desperation. 

"Jules, I get that you're a gentleman and all, but come on. You can't keep her waiting like this. Can't you see she's shaking with excitement?" 

The claw tilted his head up to look at Lucio's grinning face, his red eyes gleaming as he rubbed Julian's lips and nose over Levi's folds. They shook and squirmed as Lucio pressed his nose against their clit and shook his head from side to side, laughing softly at the desperate sounds Levi made. 

"Jules, you're going to have to put some effort into it or she's just not going to be ready. You don't want that, do you?" Lucio's flesh hand felt its way down Julian's shoulder and under his arm, snaking around to his belly and tugging up his shirt, once again revealing his flaccid cock to the warm air of Lucio's bedroom. 

Behind him Julian felt Lucio's body corral his between his legs, his head practically resting on his shoulder as he leaned forward, claw still controlling Julian's head. He doesn't want to open his mouth against them, but he can't breathe with how Lucio is holding his nose inside them. He opens his mouth to breathe and Lucio's claw angles his head to place his mouth over Levi's clit. They wail and jerk away, but Lucio holds him steady, cooing into his ear. 

He doesn't want this. Any of it, but his body reacts to the stimulus and his mouth works over Levi's folds in a mechanical, utilitarian way. He wants to make them relax as much as he can so when Lucio decides he's waited long enough, Levi has as much lubrication as he can make them have. He wants to die, but he can't let Lucio rape them while they're dry. They might never recover.

The count whispers in his ear as his flesh hand plays with his cock, drawing strangled whines of pleasure and desperation from his throat. His hips judder into the warm hand around him and he can feel Lucio's erection pressed against his ass. A promise of what's to come. 

"She really is something, Jules. I can feel all that magic. I can't wait to taste it. Maybe I should just tie you up so you can watch her come undone for me. And when she's begging for it, she'll take my seed and bear my children. Can't you see it? Her, tied up here, insensate and begging for me? Ready to pop with my sons? Oh, Jules. You bring me the best gifts." He squeezes Julian's cock hard enough to make him jump and gasp, his tongue actually tasting Levi's wetness for the first time. They tense and cry out, legs quivering above him and Lucio, unable to run from the forced intimacy. 

"Do you think she's ready, Jules?" Lucio asks, claw hand moving behind him and severing the bond between his hands. Julian's arms come to rest on his thighs as he continues to… to tongue rape Levi. His stomach rolls as Lucio's hand continues to fondle him, already bringing him to half mast. 

"You haven't even tried to stretch her. Do you really think she can take my cock in her virgin cunt? Even you struggled to take me the first time, and you only have the one hole." Lucio drags his teeth over his neck and bites down, making Julian quiver and his hips jerk into the warm hand around his cock. He hates this. He doesn't want to touch Levi at all. He wants to set himself on fire and die an agonizingly slow death for what he's already done to them. 

But Lucio is right. Julian did struggle to accept Lucio's cock the first few times he'd laid down for the count. And Lucio had been accommodating to him at the time, taking his time, stretching him slowly enough so he didn't tear or bleed and using plenty of lubrication. The acts may not have been entirely wanted, but Lucio hadn't been rough with him the first few times. 

Levi would get none of that here. Lucio would rape them with all his strength and hatred and violent nature and Levi would die. 

"You're a doctor, Jules." Lucio teased, rolling Julian's testicles around in his hand as his claw dragged over his chest, pressing hard enough to draw thin lines of blood. 

"What treatment does the woman you love deserve before she takes me, hmm?" 

He doesn't even think about what he's doing when he raised his hands to Levi's thighs. They jerk and let out more muffled wails and sounds of protest, but Julian forces himself to ignore them. He rubs soft circles into their skin as he takes one hand off their thigh and presses a finger into their core. 

Levi's screams get louder and more intense and Julian's instincts take over and he tries to jerk his hand back, only to be stopped by Lucio's claw now holding his elbow. He jerks his head back to look over his shoulder and sees the Count's sickeningly gleeful expression, red eyes gleaming with sick enjoyment. He presses his chest against Julian's back and forces him forward once more, thrusting Julian's finger back into Levi's hole. 

"You can't lose your nerve, Jules. This was your idea." 

Levi's body is trembling as Julian fingers them, trying to ease the vice like tension in their core. He leans forward and presses his lips over their clit and laves his tongue the bundle of nerves, feeling the tension release on his finger as he does so. 

He doesn't know how long he fingers Levi, slipping a second and third finger inside them until Lucio thinks he's had enough time to try to ease the passage. Levi's cries had softened to quiet sobs and gasps of pleasure when Julian finds the special spot inside them to make them clench around him and arc off the bed in pleasure. Julian only wishes he could have done this with Levi consensually and not at the behest of the count who had forced himself on him years ago and was doing so again. 

"Oh, what a good job you've done, Jules." Lucio croons, still handling his cock and testicles and keeping him on the edge of coming. The Count's teeth have marked every inch of his neck and he is covered in saliva and his own blood. 

"Such a good doctor. Taking care of your patient like this. You deserve a treat." 

Lucio stands up from behind him, dragging his leash with him, pulling him up and tying the leash around his hands so that he couldn't try to pull his wrists apart without strangling himself. Lucio left him standing there while he walked off humming to himself and rummaged around in a drawer. 

He couldn't look at Levi's face. His own was covered in their slick. He would never be able to look at them again. If they survived this, he would go to Nadia, tell her exactly what he did and demand to be executed in a slow, painful way. 

"Ah! Right where I left it. Three years and no one touched my stuff. Absolutely wonderful." Lucio cheered, walking back to Julian and guiding him to the right side of the bed, pressing down on his shoulder to force him to place his head near Levi's. They turned their head as far as they could to look at him, but Julian couldn't look back. He just… couldn't. 

"Jules, you remember the last time you were in here? Well… the second to last time. Before I caught fire. You remember what we did?" 

Julian looked over his shoulder at Lucio, wide eyed and terrified. Lucio held the bottle of lubricant in his claw and covered his flesh hand in the viscous fluid. 

"I said I would make you feel good, Jules." Lucio purred, claw hand ripping away the rest of Julian's clothes, leaving him completely naked and vulnerable to the Count's wishes. 

Lucio's hand trails down between his ass and prodded at the ring of muscle. Julian knew he needed to relax, knew that trying to convince him to stop would only encourage him. He took a deep breath and focused on relaxing his body. Lucio's finger slipped inside with minimal resistance, wiggling and pulling at his walls to open him up. The second finger entered too soon and Julian whined and tensed automatically, his back rigid as a board as Lucio carelessly fingered him for not nearly long enough before adding a third finger and starting to thrust with strength. 

He was grunting and groaning as the pain mounted, his entrance unyielding and unwilling to accept the intrusion. 

"Been a while, huh, Jules? Did you like my cock so much you couldn't bring yourself to let another have you? That's sweet of you." Lucio made a cone shape out of his fingers and began to press in ernest, drawing outright sobs of agony from the doctor. There wasn't enough lubricant to ease the passage, and Julian could feel his entrance and walls tearing as Lucio forced his hand inside, only at the third knuckle and still pushing. 

Julian was shaking and screaming as the pain eclipsed every thought in his head. All he wanted was to run. To escape. To grab Levi and flee into the world and never set foot in this cursed city again. 

Lucio's hand paused as Julian's breathing faltered, panic stealing his breath as well as the pain. The claw trailed up his back and pulled over his scalp, sending little tremors of terror down his spine. 

"Deep breath, Jules." 

Lucio pushed his hand entirely into his entrance and Julian thrashed. He couldn't breathe, the pain was too great, the feeling of utterly wrong fullness forcing every rational thought from his mind. 

Get away get away getawaygetawaygetaway 

But he couldn't. The claw dug into his shoulder and forced him down, drawing blood as he ignored the pain and thrashed. 

When his breath returned he could only scream, inhuman and desperate. 

Lucio was laughing quietly above him, his hand thrusting in and out of him, fingers crooked to hit that bundle of nerves and bring Julian's attention to the pleasure instead of the pain. 

Agonizingly, Julian was brought back to the pleasure of having someone know how your body works. The way only someone absolutely devoted to wringing the last drop of enjoyment from you could know. Every movement Lucio made sent jolts of sickening pleasure to Julian's abused cock, making it twitch and begin to weep precum. 

Lucio pulled his hand out of Julian's ass and wiped his arm off on the bed sheets in front of Julian's face. 

Blood stained the already red silk. 

"Well. I think you're both ready for the main event." 

Lucio hauled Julian up once more, utterly pliant and boneless after his own violent rape. He stood between Levi's legs again and noticed too late that he was too close to the bed for Lucio to force him to eat them out again. 

"No!" Julian cried as Lucio pushed him forward, sending the doctor crashing onto Levi's chest and forcing him to look at their face again. 

They looked absolutely terrified. They raised their head up to press their forehead to his and closed their eyes, trembling uncontrollably as Lucio walked behind Julian again, dragging his hand over the doctor's back. 

"Really, Jules. You should thank me. I'm letting you have her cunt before I do. It's only fair you get first dibs on the one you love most. I mean… you did eat her out already. Might as well feel the effect of all that effort." 

Julian was crying. He couldn't help it. He didn't want this. He never wanted this. Levi had not shown any interest in making love with him and he didn't care. He wanted to love them in every other way possible. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Levi I-" 

Lucio put his hand on Julian's cock and lined it up with their entrance.

"Lucio, please…" He begs, looking back at the horned, red eyed man. The sick smile on his face was enough to tell Julian that his pleas meant absolutely nothing to him and probably only made him more excited. 

Lucio drags Julian's hips back slightly, repositioning his cock once more, and pressed him into Levi's core. 

The warmth was divine, their insides soft and tight around him. His cock gave a traitorous twitch inside them and he wanted to throw up at how wrong this was. He shouldn't feel this good after what he'd done. The only reason Levi wasn't uncomfortably tight around him was because he had raped them with his tongue beforehand. 

Levi sobbed and shook and Julian could only press useless, tearful kisses to their forehead, trying to do anything to distract them from what he was doing to them. Trying to distract them from how he was raping them. 

Julian felt Lucio's hands on him again and he knew what was coming next. Lucio wanted to fuck them both, and this was the most efficient way he could think of doing it. 

Lucio's cock slid into his bleeding entrance and Julian tried desperately to hold still, so he could at least say he tried to fight back against what Lucio wanted. 

Lucio snapped his hips forward and Julian swallowed a scream, dropping his head down beside Levi's as Lucio fucked into him, hitting that sweet spot every time and making his cock twitch and hips stutter. Not even the searing pain of his torn insides was enough to stop the pleasure Lucio knew how to force on him. 

"I'm sorry. Levi, I'm so fucking sorry." He whispers, tears in his eyes as Lucio draws both their hips back and thrusts forward with enough force to move the entire bed. Lucio pulls on his leash and forces Julian to arc upwards, changing the angle of his cock inside Levi and drawing a desolate moan of agony and not enough pleasure from them both. 

Lucio held Julian's head by his own, clawed hand cupping his jaw, forcing him to look at the blonde man raping him. The count whispered to him, soft words that drew desperate sounds from his chest. 

"This is familiar, isn't it, Jules? You, so pliant and helpless, taking whatever I give you. Oh how I've missed you, Jules." He thrust his hips violently into the doctor, stealing his breath with a choked gurgle of agony. 

"Do you think your seed will take? Oh Jules! You're going to be a father! Isn't that delightful? The woman you love and fucked is going to bear your children. She's going to look so beautiful all fat with your spawn. Oh I wonder how she'll give birth when she's all tied up? Can't wait to find out." 

How long Lucio kept going, Julian doesn't know. He knows he himself couldn't hold back his orgasm after Lucio hit that bundle of nerves enough times and he came shamefully inside Levi, shaking and whispering useless apologies. 

"There you go Jules. Fill her up. Fuck the bitch full of your cum and breed her. That's all she's here for. Come on. I know you've got more in you." 

He knows Levi didn't come at all, their body too exhausted and terrified to reach climax with a distinctly unenthusiastic partner. He isn't sure whether he's regretful or thankful for their lack of release. 

Lucio kept going for too long, and when he finally did come, Julian had confirmation that his cock was not a human one. 

The base of Lucio's cock inflated when he came, locking himself inside Julian while his seed spilled into him, entirely too hot and strangely thick. Lucio petted the doctor's hair and told him what a good boy he'd been and how he'd done everything he'd expected. He trailed kisses down his spine and rutted against him as his knot deflated, making the doctor whine as his prostate was abused again. 

Lucio eventually slid out of Julian and left him on the floor, ejaculate and blood leaking out of him. Lucio then moved to lay by Levi, running his fingers through their hair and cooing at them as they shivered, sweat and tears and Julian's blood coating every inch of their body. 

"I know you were looking forward to taking my cock, sweetheart." He croons, trailing a hand down to thrust into their core, forcing more of Julian's come further into them. They whine and shift as far from him as they can get, only managing to strangle themselves. 

"And I promise I'll let you. But I just had to let Julian get you first. He never would have dared if I hadn't let him. He's very obedient, haven't you noticed? Tell you what. Since he took your cunt, I'll have your ass. Sound fair?" 

He didn't wait for Levi to reply, flipping them over and sliding behind them with a preternatural grace Lucio had never had before. He smoothed his hands over Levi's rear and pressed kisses to the base of their spine and worked his way down, tongue wetting their rear entrance. 

Levi, too tired and abused to do anything else, only shook and mumbled uselessly against the gag. 

Julian could barely see what Lucio was up to. It took him until Lucio pressed his blood slicked cock into Levi's barely prepared hole for him to realize just what the bastard was doing. Rage flared uselessly in his chest as his wrecked body refused to move. Refused to protect Levi. 

Lucio had truly fucked him until he was helpless. Just like all those years ago. 

Lucio seemed willing to take his time with Levi's ass. He didn't start out with a fast pace or deep thrusts. He shifted slowly into them, running his hands over their sides to calm their tremors. He murmured calming words and instructions to relax their muscles and almost gently rocked his hips into theirs. 

It didn't last, of course. Lucio was not a gentle man. He was not patient. As soon as he decided Levi had stretched enough, he pounded into them with his trademark fury and violence. 

Levi's gag couldn't muffle the pained sounds that Lucio dragged out of them. They were in pain, likely being torn apart from the inside, and silently sobbing into Lucio's silk bed sheets. 

Eventually, Lucio came again, knot inflating in Levi and drawing a confused, disgusted sound from their throat. Lucio laughed, pressing kisses down their back and nipping at their skin. 

"Such a good girl. You'll make a good mother yet. I wonder whose seed will take first? Jules' or mine? I can't wait to take your cunt, Levi." 

Levi didn't even respond. They were too tired. Too violently raped to react to the idea Lucio wanted them to impregnate them. 

The count re-dressed, looked around his room at the blood stains and savaged bodies he left behind, and walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 😭🤬

Neither Julian or Levi had the wherewithal to move. Levi was still tied up, ass in the air now, and Julian's lower body refused to function. Every time he tried to move, pain spiked up his spine and forced him back to the ground. 

Julian wondered how long Lucio would leave them in his room before he returned to rape them again. He wanted to know if Lucio planned on killing them with his cock or if he was going to have someone heal them. If their wounds weren't cleaned… 

The sound of fast, heavy footsteps reached his ears and Julian closed his eyes tightly, praying that it wasn't Lucio. He couldn't handle another round already. Levi certainly couldn't. 

The door slammed open and Julian shuddered, shoulders tensing in preparation for the strike of claws. 

"Gods!" A soft, high alto voice choked, a few feet away from his hunched back. They sounded absolutely horrified and sickened. 

"He- oh no." A different deep, oddly familiar voice rumbled from the same direction. The floor trembled as someone stepped closer to the doctor, a big, cool, callused hand gently pulling at the ties at his wrists. He shakes as the rope loosens and is removed, the same big but gentle hand rolling him onto his back, rubbing something cool and tingly onto the wounds of his neck. It smells like… myrrh? 

Memories of a huge, dark haired man trickle into his mind. A gentle, giant man who really didn't like company but helped people who needed it. Levi had said they liked him because he wanted very little and what little he wanted was perfectly reasonable, if incredibly lonely. Muriel was a kind but… strange man. 

He finds his chest is tight with uncontrollable panic and his breath comes in gasps and shakes. 

"It's okay, Julian." The deep voice tells him, hand coming away from him so he didn't panic further. 

"We're getting you two out of here. We won't let him touch you. Take a deep breath. It's almost over." 

Julian cracks open one eye and sees the massive figure of Muriel kneeling next to him, a look of deep concern tinged with horror on his face. 

"Abigail is getting Levi. We're getting you out of here." 

Relief floods Julian's chest and he allows desperate tears to fall from his eyes. Muriel looks distinctly uncomfortable, but he takes his cloak off and wraps it around the doctor's body. 

"Muriel?" Abigail's tense, sickened voice calls from the bed, where they cradled their twin in their arms. They had wrapped a blanket around Levi's form and seemed ready to leave. Their eyes looked to Julian with a soft sorrow that made his stomach crawl. That soft expression would turn to revulsion when Levi told them what he'd done. 

"I'm going to pick you up, Julian." Muriel warned, looking apologetically at the doctor under him. Julian nodded and inhaled sharply when Muriel's arms laced under his knees and behind his lacerated shoulders. 

"Sorry." Muriel said softly, rising carefully from the floor with Julian in his arms. The man seems to have no trouble carrying him. 

"Follow me. Asra is waiting for us." Abigail says, holding their trembling twin as close to them as can, as if trying to fold them into their own skin and hide them from further pain. 

Muriel follows the brisk, light steps of Abigail as they lead the way out of the palace. Julian doesn't realize he's shaking until Muriel tightens his grip and asks him to try to calm down. 

"I don't want to drop you, Julian. Try to stay calm." 

A loud, furious scream tore through the castle and both Julian and Levi shuddered and made sounds of abject terror. Abigail and Muriel ran faster. 

The jostling sent spikes of pain through his body and he felt his mind losing its grip on consciousness. Julian saw as his eyes slid shut, a white haired figure standing by a solid wall, his face a mask of worry. 

"Come through here. Hurry." Asra's voice urges, sounding far off and dreamy. Julian exhales and lets his grip on the waking world fade. 

He woke with a start, his heart racing and his muscles screaming. He tried to sit up on the cot he had been laid on, but his torn backside wouldn't let him. His breath stalled and he let out a strangled cry that got the attention of the color clad magician beside him. 

Asra leaned towards him, a gentle hand on his shoulder to ease him back. 

"Ilya, take a breath. Lie back. You're okay. You're safe. Levi is safe." 

Julian looked around, blinking rapidly as he looked around his surroundings. He was… in Muriel's hut. He was covered by a thick fur blanket and completely naked underneath. He looked at Asra's soft, apprehensive expression and felt a surge of desperate horror in his chest. 

"It… it wasn't a nightmare, was it?" He whispers, unable to look Asra in the eye. How could he look at him with such tenderness when he's guilty of raping his own partner? 

"No. I'm sorry, Ilya." 

Julian laid back, shaking hands covering his face. He felt sick. The only way he could deal with what he'd done was to hope it had been a nightmare. Hope that he had only debased and tortured his partner in a nightmare designed to drive him insane with guilt. Like when Valdemar had taken control of Death's realm and shown him the twins consumed by the plague. 

"No, no, no…" He sobs, breath hitching. He can still taste Levi on his lips. 

"It'll be alright, Ilya. You'll get better. You're already healing. Levi is already awake and wanting to talk to you. You'll both survive this." 

Julian just shook his head, shaking with pain, guilt and regret. 

Asra pressed a cool palm to his forehead and whispered a phrase in a language he didn't know. His muscles relaxed and his breathing slowed, but his mind raced. Levi wanted to talk to him. Why? To call him a monster? To detail everything he did wrong? To tell him in no uncertain terms they no longer wanted to see him? That if he ever showed his face to them he would be arrested? Or do they want to kill him themselves? 

"Julian, you need to calm down. Levi just wants to make sure you're okay." 

"They shouldn't… I- gods Asra I-" 

Asra pressed his fingers over Julian's mouth and shushed him, his other hand running through his hair. A tingling calm rushes over him as Asra channels healing spells into him, causing his breath to catch. 

"Ilya, stop. They want to talk to you. Whatever you think you did, they just want to talk to you." 

"Asra you don't get it! I- I hurt them. It doesn't matter if they want to talk to me. They shouldn't want to talk to me. They-" 

"Julian?" Levi's calm voice asked from the door to Muriel's hut. Asra and Julian looked up, the magician looking relieved and the doctor looking terrified. 

Levi stepped into the hut, practically laying on Abigail as they walked, a pained expression on their face. They looked to Asra and the magician stood, offering the chair to them. Levi accepted the chair and gingerly sat down, hands tightened into fists as pain laced through them. 

Pain Julian had caused. 

"Julian," Levi sighed, eyes soft but distant, haunted by what they had survived. 

"Just listen to me, please. I just want you to listen.

"Asra, Abigail, would you leave for a moment? This really is between Julian and I." 

The magicians nodded and left, Levi's twin pressing a chaste kiss to their forehead. Levi lifted their hand and drew a shining symbol in the air, making it burst into fog after it was finished. The noise from outside the hut quieted, and Julian understood that Levi had muted their conversation from others. 

He couldn't look at them. They were sitting on a chair, clearly in pain that he had caused, and they wanted to talk. 

"I don't hate you." 

Five torturous seconds passed before they spoke again. Their voice was distant and sorrowful, and Julian hated that he had caused it.

"I'm not stupid, Julian. I know what Lucio did to you all those years ago. I know he forced himself on you when you worked for the palace. He had power over you and he used it. 

"He wasn't gentle, and he wasn't patient. He hurt you and he enjoyed it." They took a shaking breath before asking a very pointed question. A question no one had thought to ask him before. 

"Did you decide at some point that since you couldn't get away, that preparing yourself for that abuse was the path of least resistance?" 

Julian felt his chest loosen the smallest bit when they asked him that. That secret that he had carried with him for nearly six years was out, and the only person who knew was the person he trusted most. A small amount of shame burned away as Levi released him from the prison he had made for himself. 

"I… yes." He answered, shakily and shamed. He stared at the hut's ceiling. He could barely see Levi's hair in his periphery. 

"He liked to make me bleed. He liked hearing me scream." He wanted to curl into a ball and sink into the floor, but his body wouldn't move. He was in too much pain. 

"I'm sorry." Levi breathed, and Julian sobbed miserably. He looked at Levi fully for the first time since waking up and saw the tears silently falling down their face. 

"You're sorry? Why would you be sorry? You didn't do it. If anyone should be sorry it's me. I-" Levi held up a hand to silence him. He obliged. He knew better than to talk when Levi needed to speak. 

"I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry he raped you repeatedly and no one did anything. I'm sorry you had to prepare yourself for your own rape to make it easier. I'm sorry you had no other choice." Levi took a deep breath and closed their eyes before continuing. Their face hardened and their expression turned angry. 

"I'm sorry you knew you had to prepare me before Lucio raped me." 

Another unbearable moment passed before they spoke again, hands digging into their knees hard enough to turn their knuckles white. 

"I'm sorry we were the ones he wanted. I'm sorry-"

"Please stop." He begged, tears falling from his eyes as he looked at them, their entire body rigid with fury. 

"Levi, please stop apologizing. What Lucio did to me… it will never be your fault. What I… had to do isn't your fault. If anyone should be apologizing, it's me. We knew Lucio was coming back. I should have guessed he'd want me back too. I should have realized he'd want to torture me for being with someone else, and I should have expected him to want to hurt them too. Levi, I'm so fucking sorry I didn't realize that you'd be in danger when he came back. I would have told you before anything… I would have kept you away. Until he was dead." 

Levi manages a sardonic look that makes him smile despite the conversation they were having. 

"Do you honestly believe that I would have stayed away from the danger while you and everyone else tried to stop Lucio and the Devil?" Their voice was flat and unimpressed. 

"Hah… no. Not for a moment." 

The moment passes and his smile falls. The rest of the conversation had yet to happen. 

"Levi, I… I'm… I'm sorry. I panicked. I know what he likes and I know your blood is thin and I was afraid he would kill you if you weren't… ready…" 

He looks away from them, face red with shame. He is being honest, but he knows it won't matter. It shouldn't matter. He still raped them. 

"I know." Levi sighs, eyes distant and haunted. Their voice is exhausted but none the less angry. 

"I know you never would have touched me if he hadn't threatened me first. I know you were scared I'd die because he wanted me to bleed. I… don't really blame you. You didn't want me to die. I can't be mad about that. I'm not mad you did what you thought you had to… I'm horrified and furious you were essentially correct." 

Levi's breath was ragged and their face was furious. Their magic swirled under their skin as they looked off to the side, unwilling to level their gaze to him. 

"As… Julian, to be perfectly honest, I don't know how to feel right now. I'm still hoping it was a nightmare. But… I am far more furious at Lucio than you. He is responsible, Julian. Not you. I need you to understand that. Please tell me you understand that." 

He was crying again. He couldn't respond with anything other than a nod. He was equal parts relieved and horrified. How could Levi not despise him? He always knew they were too forgiving. 

Levi leaned over him, their right hand brushing over his cheek, wiping away the tears he continued to shed. He brought his hand up to theirs, amazed that they didn't flinch away from him. 

"Please don't forgive me, Levi. I hurt you. You… you deserve to be furious. You deserve so much better." 

Levi smiled at him, tears in their eyes. Their hand caressed his head, their fingers teasing his hair. 

"You scared me, Ilya. I… didn't know what to think when you asked to… you know. I… I saw your face when you said it. You didn't want to. That's why I can forgive you. I haven't yet… it's… too soon. I can't yet. And you need to forgive yourself. 

"We're going to get through this. I love you, Ilya. I love you enough to say I don't forgive you. I love you enough to be honest. Just promise me you'll try to forgive yourself. I know you feel dirty. I know you feel monstrous. I can promise you're not. I promise I still see the good in you.

"There is so much good in you Ilya. No matter how wrong you feel. No matter how you were forced to hurt me. You are not Lucio. You will never be Lucio. You were not a murderer, and you are not a monster. Promise me you'll try to see what I do. Promise me you'll try." 

They have their head on his chest, their tears soaking his skin and he wants to say he believes them. He wants to tell them he knows he isn't a monster. 

He can only hear their pained, desperate cries as he raped them. He can feel them tight around him, unwanted and quivering in terror. He cannot forgive himself. 

Not yet. 

But he will promise to try. If only because they asked. 


End file.
